When I was around 13-14 one of my personalities started really coming out and around. My mother didn’t understand what was happening, but was incredibly unhappy. Anytime this personality came out(lets call her Luci), she’d get angry and tell her to wipe that look off her face. Luci became more bitter towards my parents. Anytime she was around them, she’d try hard not to appear grimacing, or “giving a go to hell look”. Over time she got good at it. Eventually though, my mom found out that she existed by going through my phone. She was furious and at one point said, “Luci is not my daughter.” This was heart breaking for Luci. I guess that’s when she really realized she was different.

My mother told me that I needed to stop talking about her, stop calling her Luci. Take away her name, take away her power. Just pretend she didn’t exist. Even if I did that, Luci would still call herself Luci. She would still be there stewing about. I decided I couldn’t just ignore a part of myself, and I wouldn’t treat this like a shameful addiction.

People won’t always understand, and some people might be afraid. Just remember, we’re all just human beings doing what humans do. Wanting love, wanting acceptance.

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